I'm hurting.

Well, let's see here...since the last time i wrote some stuff worth talking about has happened.I was really happy about it but I'm not too sure about it now.Its the same guy i talked about a few posts ago.Better known as the "kisser".He and i, big surprise; kissed again.At a friends house and on the way home, no doubt.SIGH.
SIGH.
SIGH.
yes, i know he snubbed me after the last time.but i figured that maybe he just didnt know what to do just like me. Today though, i found out what he really thinks of me. I was talking to my friend R. cos i found out that he told my other friend G. about me and the "kisser" aka 'C.', i found out more than i wanted and we ended up having a decent convo as well.

4:01pmKasia

you told G. about me and C.

4:02pmR.

yeah (cringes like kid about to receive punishment)

4:02pmKasia

why

that information isnt necessary to him

4:03pmR.

cause it pisses me off that C. doing that. A. asked him (i was there too) if he was actually going to date you and he said no

i cant stand by and let that happen

not to you

4:04pmKasia

i know hes not going to ask me out

im trying to ignore that fact

4:05pmR.

oh...

4:05pmKasia

and possibly change his mind

4:05pmR.

ah...

:(

4:06pmKasia

i dont even know how to feel about C.

its all very odd for me

4:07pmR.

same

4:08pmR.

i really dont know what to say about him

4:10pmR.

hes a nice guy hes got charm and looks (not meaning to sound queer or nothin')

4:10pmKasia

(i think youre queer anyway jk)

4:10pmR.

lol

4:11pmKasia

but yes, C. does come off as a cool kind of guy

but he's very hard to read

4:12pmR.

mhm thats why i like hanging out with him its impossible almost to know whats going through his head

4:12pmKasia

see, that also bothers me

4:13pmR.

why is that?

4:14pmKasia

cos i dont know how he feels about me, or anything. everything he says sort of seems like a lie

i dont know how to explain it.

4:17pmR.

i see what you mean its hard for me too like one day hes making out with you by Ms.R's room then two days later hes telling about some Templeton(another highschool in the area) chick he met that seems like the perfect match for him, then hes saying that AD.'s getting all pissed off about you two and he wants to go back to her then he's with you in my basement falling in a laundry basket.

4:17pmKasia

he doesnt know what he wants

4:18pmR.

he did say at one point to me that he was afraid of commitment

4:18pmKasia

thats a given

since he doesnt usually keep girlfriends for long

4:19pmR.

another thing that always confuses me

he gets all these beautiful women sees them for about a month (if that) then hes off with some other chick

4:21pmKasia

it is worrisome, isnt it?

i keep getting myself into these types of situations.its getting tiring.

4:23pmR.

I know...I keep throwing my heart around like a baseball and everytime so far, it just gets thrown away to the next person. Just for once I'd like someone to catch it

4:24pmKasia

*fistbump*

There was more but it wasnt really relevant.

i am tired of having this happen to me.I like guys and they take advantage of me. all i'll ever be is something to be used.no one ever seems to want more than physical stuff with me. i used to think i wasnt desirable, but i am; its just that no one wants anything more than a physical relationship with me.
i'm hurting.

Go outside, peep; live your life.
Happy Easter!
Love,
Kasia