UGHHHH

I'm sorry for not posting more often.

Although, a decent amount of stuff happened since the last time i wrote:
Went to a party this past weekend.
Did a little dancing (uhntz uhntz uhntz...)
Did a little dancing with some guys.
One of those guys happened to be pretty hot.
And also happened to make out with me for a decent amount of time...
I had to leave early cos i wasnt feeling too well, and i know im never going to see him again.
All i know is that i had a good time.
More recently(yesterday), i was sitting in church (yeah, yeah i know way to show your morals by making out with a guy the night before, right?) and this woman was sitting on front of me wearing this shirt...there was an interesting pattern on the back. I couldnt help but be reminded of the chromosomes we learned about last year in biology...

Not much of a post, i know. but at the moment i'm trying to finish my part of a French project.

Peace out, Girl scout.

Love,Your little DeadGirl
Kasia

Exactly like i thought the speech competition was gona be...

COULDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO REMEMBER TO PUT MY FUCKING NAME IN THE FUCKING PROGRAM FOR THE FUCKING SPEECH COMPETITION; THAT'S JUST FUCKING FINE WITH ME.
OF COURSE 'I' WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT WAS FORGOTTEN.
SIGH
SIGH
SIGH
i cant believe it, i knew something was going to happen. it always does. im always forgotten/ignored/neglected by teachers and my peers. i know im sort of sounding like a victim blah blah blah fuck you.Big fucking surprise for me, this was.
The same girl that won last year and the year before won this year. i couldn't help but laugh at all of the speeches; they were so predictable and so "highschool musical" (meaning cliche highschool crap).

i knew i wasn't gonna win but them forgetting to put me in the competition just depressed me.i admit my speech could've been more memorized, which is what they were looking for but why does that matter if the speech is shit?

sigh
sigh
SIGHHHHHHHHH
im mildly bitter about this.
it shouldnt be a big deal but people have this annoying tendency to either forget about me or fail to remember me...wait, thats exactly the same thing...

SIGH.


i'll keep you guys posted,
Love,
Kasia...you know the one...n-no she's...ah never mind...

P.S I FINALLY FOUND OUT WHO SINGS THIS ONE SONG THAT IVE BEEN ENTRANCED BY (with the lyrics, at least).

Sic Transit Gloria-Glory Fades

FUCKMYLIFEWITHARAKEANDNEVERCALLITBACK

I had an interesting day today.
Went to Starbucks in gym class because teacher didnt show and we have a tiny class.i found that this defeated the purpose of gym class. yes, we 'walked' down there but seriously, a mocha thingie from starbucks has more calories than a big mac.
sorry, i just found this funny, though it may not interest any of you.For that i apologize, but its my blog.
SO There.
Aside from the obese gym class we had today, i hung out with a few buddies of mine; not the ones that i have had recent fights with.We went to this dress shop we had wanted to pop into for a while. not only did they not carry my size (2), everything in there looked like Value Village rejects (the saleslady told us that all the stuff they had were discontinued designs sent from bridal shops). it was fun looking through all those dresses, and we did manage to find some cool stuff.i may or may not come back for this pair of pink barbie-esque pumps that i fell in love with...

God, i wish my friends didn't read this so i could treat this like my actual diary. i have to widdle everything down so i don't seem like a total headcase.even then i dont exactly seem normal, just more "LYK OMG" if you know what i mean by that at all...

ANYWAY

I decided to volunteer for this speech competition my school is holding.i barely make it through class speeches, i dont know why im doing this. oh, right because i knew my crush would be taking part so i decided to do the classic obsessed-with-one-particular-boy-teenage-girl thing and volunteer so that he and i could have something to talk about.

I.AM.AN.IDIOT.

Aside from my being an idiot for volunteering for this stupid thing, i wont even have time to practice this weekend cos we're doing renos and i have to help out.Cant say that my speech sucks though, im known for my amazing essays(THOUGH ITS NOT REALLY EVIDENT IN ANY OF THESE POSTS, IS IT.)

sigh
sigh
sighhhh
im off to bed so i can dream of being kissed this week and therefore remind myself how i was snubbed for the rest of the week afterward by said "kisser"(sadly, this is not the first time).

Keep it 'G',
Kasia; who by the way feels more dead than usual.

The last few days..

OH.MY.GOD.(freaking out over recent events)

so much has happened over the last few days. just this last weekend i met my niece for the very first time, and i love her already; shes always laughing and she wouldn't let go of my hand when i said goodbye. i'm seeing her again this weekend.

today wasnt so uneventful either. i resolved a long term problem with a friend who i thought i had lost for sure and some stuff 'n' junk happened during lunch today...

... But i wont say what.

HA!HA! (a la nelson from the simpsons)


Love,

Kasia; who seems to be more alive (say whaaaaat!?)

Up and running...well, the internet at least...

Well, as y'all can see from the title my internet is working again.
WOOT.
sigh, anyway. i think im living in a cage. picture this; a bird in a cage that dreams of escape and one day the cage is left open. the bird has dreamt of this day for years and now that the day has come, it realizes that there is no place to escape to. so they stay. That is pretty much my life. Except for the rare occasion when i do have a place to escape to, that chance gets taken away from me because i live in a house full of dictators. i cant really tell them everything sometimes cos i know shit will hit the fan. but by not telling them i sometimes look like a child or that im overreacting, blah blah blah. they don't get it.they don't understand that im sick of not living my teenage life. i want to go to parties. all i ask is once in a while; not like the rich and popular group at school that parties every other day. one weekend a month is all i ask. funny how the one weekend a month always ends up on the same weekend i have to go and help the mother-unit clean the church, right?
fuck, it just angers me.
this year has been the year ive actually had the most experiences:
my first kiss
some concerts
kissing a guy on several occasions and not dating them
smoked a few cigarettes...
fuck, now that i think about it...
I HAVEN'T LIVED VERY MUCH AT ALL. this is where my blog name comes into place.
DeadGirlAlive. its what i am. i am dead, or might as well be. my last fifteen years have been wasted.compare me to the average teenager (mind you, one that isnt a total fuck up) and they have gone to a decent amount of parties, have had boyfriends and have lived a decent life so far.a little sprinkle of angst here and there, but that is all a part of pubescence. along with acne, back-ne, cracking voices, and the "monthly gift".

Lately, all i could do to help myself fall asleep is the thought of dying.i know, very morbid,weird,etc etc but its true. its just like that song from Donnie Darko:

"I find it kind of funny; i find it kind of sad.That the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had..."

apparently, people are reading my blog. not neccessarily people that i want reading my blog. im going to have to change my URL if i want this shit to continue, beacuse i genuinely like blogging.
sigh, more to come soon (thats what she said).


Love, your little dead girl

Kasia

p.s :(

Still internetless...

SIGHHH

again, the title says it all.

I am sitting in the computer lab again with sofia and some fag named fran.

we had some hot guys here before but they all left. haha, especially this one guy that my friend amethyst calls muriel. he's been checking me out all week and ive been doing the same. ahem.

ANYWAY. aside from the minor amount of hot guyness, im hoping that i can get my internet back within the week so i can actually write a decent entry. like, for example how everything has been very bipolar over the past few days. ive had a bunch of panic attacks because of my sister and homework and school and life in general,sigh. im failing math again and i just pulled it up. hopefully i can pull it up again now that we're doing trig, which is the only thing im good at. YAY SOHCAHTOA!

uhm, yes so hopefully ill be able to post some more stuff when my own computer is up and running. in the mean time if anyone cares whats going on in my life, my twitter is right THERE >>>>>>

feel free to stalk me, i guess.

right now im forcing my friend fran to get a blog and witnessing sofia wriet an entry for her blog. WOOT.

ain't life just GRAND!?

love, you're little dead girl,

Kasia

Internetless.

Title says it all people. I'm currently at school with my friend sofia going over our Christian Ed (yes i go to a catholic school, envy me."fear her wrath, people" thanks sofia) script for a skit we're doing. its hilarious so far, not to mention extremely stupid. Did i mention its stupid? oh, sorry. My brother is in it too (he and i are in the same grade but we're nt twins, he was sent to school a year later so we could be together). we each have to play a vice (lust, avarice etc.) and make it into a sitcom sort of thing. we're doing a sort of 'celebrity rehab with dr.drew' type thing. im a dr.drew type character and just like dr.drew i have my own problem too. douche-baggery?no.let's just say that my name is "dr.G.Lutton". 'nuff said. Our skit is going to be Sofia is a ho.Sorry, i was messing with Sofia and i cant bring myself to get rid of that sentence. ANYwayyy, our skit is definetly going to be amusing.

So in regards to the no internet thing, my brother has been fixing up his room and needed to unplug the computers and i dont know when theyll be up and running again. I'll be updating twitter whenever i can and i'll go back to the school computer lab to write another entry.


Love, Your Little Dead Girl

Kasia (Ka-Sh-ah)