Well, as y'all can see from the title my internet is working again.
WOOT.
sigh, anyway. i think im living in a cage. picture this; a bird in a cage that dreams of escape and one day the cage is left open. the bird has dreamt of this day for years and now that the day has come, it realizes that there is no place to escape to. so they stay. That is pretty much my life. Except for the rare occasion when i do have a place to escape to, that chance gets taken away from me because i live in a house full of dictators. i cant really tell them everything sometimes cos i know shit will hit the fan. but by not telling them i sometimes look like a child or that im overreacting, blah blah blah. they don't get it.they don't understand that im sick of not living my teenage life. i want to go to parties. all i ask is once in a while; not like the rich and popular group at school that parties every other day. one weekend a month is all i ask. funny how the one weekend a month always ends up on the same weekend i have to go and help the mother-unit clean the church, right?
fuck, it just angers me.
this year has been the year ive actually had the most experiences:
my first kiss
some concerts
kissing a guy on several occasions and not dating them
smoked a few cigarettes...
fuck, now that i think about it...
I HAVEN'T LIVED VERY MUCH AT ALL. this is where my blog name comes into place.
DeadGirlAlive. its what i am. i am dead, or might as well be. my last fifteen years have been wasted.compare me to the average teenager (mind you, one that isnt a total fuck up) and they have gone to a decent amount of parties, have had boyfriends and have lived a decent life so far.a little sprinkle of angst here and there, but that is all a part of pubescence. along with acne, back-ne, cracking voices, and the "monthly gift".
Lately, all i could do to help myself fall asleep is the thought of dying.i know, very morbid,weird,etc etc but its true. its just like that song from Donnie Darko:
"I find it kind of funny; i find it kind of sad.That the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had..."
apparently, people are reading my blog. not neccessarily people that i want reading my blog. im going to have to change my URL if i want this shit to continue, beacuse i genuinely like blogging.
sigh, more to come soon (thats what she said).
Love, your little dead girl
Kasia
p.s :(
WOOT.
sigh, anyway. i think im living in a cage. picture this; a bird in a cage that dreams of escape and one day the cage is left open. the bird has dreamt of this day for years and now that the day has come, it realizes that there is no place to escape to. so they stay. That is pretty much my life. Except for the rare occasion when i do have a place to escape to, that chance gets taken away from me because i live in a house full of dictators. i cant really tell them everything sometimes cos i know shit will hit the fan. but by not telling them i sometimes look like a child or that im overreacting, blah blah blah. they don't get it.they don't understand that im sick of not living my teenage life. i want to go to parties. all i ask is once in a while; not like the rich and popular group at school that parties every other day. one weekend a month is all i ask. funny how the one weekend a month always ends up on the same weekend i have to go and help the mother-unit clean the church, right?
fuck, it just angers me.
this year has been the year ive actually had the most experiences:
my first kiss
some concerts
kissing a guy on several occasions and not dating them
smoked a few cigarettes...
fuck, now that i think about it...
I HAVEN'T LIVED VERY MUCH AT ALL. this is where my blog name comes into place.
DeadGirlAlive. its what i am. i am dead, or might as well be. my last fifteen years have been wasted.compare me to the average teenager (mind you, one that isnt a total fuck up) and they have gone to a decent amount of parties, have had boyfriends and have lived a decent life so far.a little sprinkle of angst here and there, but that is all a part of pubescence. along with acne, back-ne, cracking voices, and the "monthly gift".
Lately, all i could do to help myself fall asleep is the thought of dying.i know, very morbid,weird,etc etc but its true. its just like that song from Donnie Darko:
"I find it kind of funny; i find it kind of sad.That the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had..."
apparently, people are reading my blog. not neccessarily people that i want reading my blog. im going to have to change my URL if i want this shit to continue, beacuse i genuinely like blogging.
sigh, more to come soon (thats what she said).
Love, your little dead girl
Kasia
p.s :(
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